27 February 2018

So I initially wanted to do a review of black panther but then I realized a review is supposed to be objective and mine will be biased. Biased because as a fan of superhero movies i have waited for such a movie. So to see a movie full of superheros that I can identify with physically and culturally is such a big deal and I wasn't about to point out the few flaws it had, instead I am going to talk about the excellence that is Black Panther.
First of all can we talk about that accent kudos to all the Actors they did an amazing job!. Watching the movie you can tell everyone involved in the making of this movie did their research. The beautiful country that is Wakanda was portrayed beautifully. From the clothing to their mannerisms. You can clearly see the richness of African culture and the regal royalty from the king to the Queen mother. I was soo proud watching. They did all of the above whilst still giving an inspiring story about unity and the power in coming together for a good cause. From the light banter among the characters to the some real badass fight scenes, this movie was amazing to watch.The wows and claps throughout the movie is a testament to it's brilliance.

And can we talk about the women in this movie. They were strong, fierce,  powerful and allowed to assume their positions without question. It was soo refreshing to see how they weren't fighting for a place, playing damsels in distress or subservient roles but rather they played an equal part in saving their country and fighting for the people they love.

This movie is important to me because it gives me hope. The city of Wakanda although fictional shows the beauty that is Africa and we might not have caught up to the technology yet but we do have the rich minerals and the Amazing culture. For me it shows the Africa that could have been and can be. So for those of you wondering why we are making noise about this movie. We do because Black panther signifies the Africa we see and it's about damn time everyone else saw it too. Have you seen the movie?let me know your thoughts in the comment section.

                                  Love, Neera.

Once Upon A Love Tale | Akido Wijayarathne

20 February 2018

Valentine's Day emotions got me pretty high up and about early morning. Hopeless romantic. Guilty as charged. A dozen phone calls later screaming Valentine wishes in a few ears, a handful who didn't share my overenthusiastic screech-capade, (well when you are a sixty year old woman whose husband is yelling football jargon at the screen, your idea of romantic is pretty bleak. Sorry Aunty Delly!) my garden swing found me curled up typing away to my heart's content.

My friend heads up a "Single and Happy" club (yup, they actually go by that name, lol!), a group of eight ladies, who I've found in the downtown cafe to be regulars for the whole of Valentine's Week exclaiming exactly "why we don't need a man" ( the ferocity depending on the number of screwdrivers sliding down their throats). And hence, they inspired me to pen my own thoughts on this popular text.

You don't need a man. Total agreement! Need is an adult version of babysitting. Dependence is cowardice and idleness freelancing in its purest construction. No, you certainly do not "need" anyone as an independent, charismatic, capable, high-profile woman. Disagreement with this ruling sets the women's movement a good century back, certainly not where we want to be at!

I'm angling to pinpoint on the double ended sword. Those Saturday nights playing couch potato downing Pinot Noir a glass too many watching The Bachelor on repeat telling yourself that you are "Single and Happy" yet a fresh wave of tears threaten to sweep up everytime you remember your sister's babyshower and Caroline's engagement could only get better if you were to replace the sentence with "why I want a man". Humans crave Intimacy. Period. Our lives are built on varying degrees of relationships. Now when you take out the word "man" and merely supersede it with "someone who makes me incredibly happy" it proves to be a relationship no different than the one you have with your girlfriends or your mom or even your little Terrier Lassie. Maybe even better.

Falling in love is terrifying even to the pluckiest out there. Three reasons. Giving up control, the past and in a twisted sense of meaning, fear of adaptation. ( That needs some explanation. *Grin*)

A woman who's acquired independence sees giving up control a little less brutal than sacrificing her soul (lol). Which is understandable. Mothering the condo beside the lake, the six figure job, the Porsche in the garage in a man's world was no easy feat. She's been incharge of her happiness for a substantial part of her life and excelled at it too. Placing her happiness, her sense of duty to herself in someone else's hands along with juggling the knowledge that she might get hurt is the bane of her existence. Giving up this sense of control, trusting someone else with her happiness, her secrets, her vulnerabilities, her insecurities terrifies the world out of her and makes her run faster than a lighting bolt and logically the only breakthrough the Lovey Door. Letting someone in to witness you in all your naked glory (emotionally, psychologically)  is weary. Still understandable.

The Demon Past. The demon that holds onto you the more you hold onto it, refusing to let go, haunting days and nights, twisting genuine gestures as enemy ploys resulting in a world-class paronoid mess, that's you. A paranoid mess that acts on your "intuition based on past mistakes," winding up shattering arms that could have held you on cold days, never pausing to give that special someone the benefit of the doubt nor willing to accept that your intuitions might not always be veracious.Treading with caution is wise while refusing to tread is sissiness at its best for it takes a lion heart to forgive, forget, move on and embrace the possibility of resurrection.

Fear of adaptation, the confusing parameter. Let me break it down for you.  You've got a whole routine, a blooming business, take out Chinese Friday nights with the fam, Saturday nights with the girls at the club and making room for someone that challenges your norms and threatens to break down all the walls you've built around yourself is petrifying too. "I'd have a whole new life, dinner with his parents. No pressure. He would be sleeping over at my house, probably will leave the toilet seat up and my mirror steamy. How does he like his coffee. Will I have to make a separate batch for him".  You've got a whole routine working out for you like clockwork, nothing out of the ordinary, after all you've been doing that for the past six years. It's comfortable, it's safe. And breaking out of your comfort zone spooks the daylights out of you. Taking a step towards accommodating another lifestyle seems like a thousand giant steps.  Total thorn on the side.

"Falling" in love they said. Fearlessly plummeting into the unknown bottomless pit disregarding the depths of your descend, living the moment experiencing the dimensionless feeling of being cared for and caring back stilling every other constant in time. That could be "falling in love" in a nutshell.  The only route to ever benefitting out of the exhilarating feeling is to let go of the three above fiend genesis.

It is said to have better loved and lost than not loved at all.  My ranting doesn't subscribe to  portray that happiness lies in a partner, for it's not; happiness lies in your metrics of happiness. But certainly a person bringing out the best in you is an agent of happiness and you owe it to yourself to realise the reason to let yourself give into love is not out of need but out of in a way your own selfish desire to be happy.

 You never know, you might just be someone's missing rib. *Wink.**Wink.*

Drop your thoughts down below.

Loads of love,

LIfe Lessons: Jealousy Jealousy Jealousy

19 February 2018

Hey family,

Let's strip down and discuss something raw and real:

Have you ever found yourself not being able to be happy for someone? 
When you see them in person or online, are you unintentionally side-eyeing?
If you knew something that would benefit them, would you tell them? No?
You, my friend might be jealous.

Jealousy is a negative feeling that can produce hate, gossip and slander.

Not only can jealousy affect the subject, but it is a brewing negative energy in your heart, mind and soul. I do hate to be clichè, but you need to protect your energy. 
It is a mental blockage that will prevent your progress. How many times has hating resulted in your success?

I'll keep this one short and sweet-
How to overcome:
-You need to just accept that you are jealous. Yep. Roll your eyes. It's okay. Swallow it. And then:
-If you are religious, pray for the subject of your jealousy. It's quite hard to pray for someone peace, joy and success and still be jealous.  [Plus you can't throw shade during prayer because the God we serve is the Light of the world.] Ha.

  • While you're down there you might aswell send a prayer or two up for yourself, your peace and focus as well as purity of the heart. Find freedom and peace in the knowledge that the Lordt has a plan
  • Understand that really and truly, everyone's path is different, and that's because everyone's path is different. Yes, you read right. Your entire life up until this point differs in so many ways from the person you are choosing to compare yourself with, so how can you expect that your path here on out with be identical? The different steps have taught you different strengths. When I first wanted to blog, I was no where near as secure and confident as I am now. Nor was I being real and genuine with myself about what I wanted to blog about and why. I won't get too into that now, but child it was a mess. 
  • Tunnel Vision. Focus on bettering yourself, and finding your purpose. Then work work work on it! I'll be writing another post very soon about more practical steps towards bossing up.
That's all for this one and I really hope you've taken something away.
If you have let me know! Also do share. 

Have a happy week

Light and love,
Bolu Noelle 


GroHealthy Shea and Coconut Review | Akido Wijayarathne

6 February 2018

I was recently allied with GroHealthy’s Coconut and Shear line and I just have three S's for it, stunning, stupendous, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. I tend to turn a sceptical eye towards most hair products what with my problematic mane of less voluptuous, frizzy, dry, damage-prone locks but I must say this line completely stole my heart away for it turned out to be an answer to a better part of my hair ordeals.

I am a sucker for things Shea and Jojoba. I can’t help it, it calls to me and GroHealthy’s line took my senses on a field day. The enticing fragrance got me thinking of home, golden beaches and mojitos. I can definitely get used to smelling like this. Boyfriend approved. Wink Wink.

I have to start with the Smooth Edges since it tolled up to the no. 01 favourite in my books. Its velvety texture soothes down the edges with no effort exerted and leaves no greasy film lying nor does it dry up to be flaky and unappealing. It undoubtedly adds up an exciting finish to the styling process.

My number two goes out to the Flat Out Frizz Fighter. My light hair becomes a dry frizzy mass on the top of my head once dried after a wash and the Flat Out Frizz Fighter is a best buddy. It moisturizes my hair from the roots to the tips and pats it down into tame flowing curls. I add it up in my regular hair routine after the Leave In Conditioner.

Third comes the Shea and Coconut Oil. She with her delightful fragrance and instant moisturizing properties is a purse essential. I used to pre-poo my hair with almond oil but I've discovered that the Shea and Coconut Oil does a better job in the way of moisturising especially in my current location in the tropical islands with its hot dehydrating climate as opposed to my earlier colder climate. Furthermore it adds a shine and a sparkle to the hair along with softening it. Funnily though, it’s my “foot oil” too since it leaves my feet feeling baby soft.

Next comes in the Leave- In  Conditioner. I love, love, love it. A well worked in dollop into my tresses works a long way in creating  nourished, shiny, healthy, wholesome looking hair. It makes it effortless to comb through the hair and has long since reduced hair fall due to friction. It moisturises the locks and keeps in a look of hydrated hair till the next wash.

And moving on to the Moisturizing Shampoo. It sure smells heavenly and easily lathers up making it the fun part of wash day. As in the way of Moisturizing properties, it really didn't set itself apart from any other good shampoo for me. But it definitely fits in the range of good shampoos in its shampooing effects.

Next I am onto the Moisture Rich Conditioner. After the washing out of the shampoo, I rub in a considerable amount of Moisture Rich Conditioner and wait it out for 12-13 minutes which afterwards I wash it off. It adds luster to the hair and makes it noticeably soft and smooth  to the touch. But I would have expected a little deeper conditioning from it in making mark with what I would have expected out of it.

Last but not least, I arrive at the Curling Custard. It defines my curls and holds it up in a good hold without weighing it down which attracts me because I simply dislike feeling excessive products in my hair.  I especially adore how it protects the shine and silkiness of my hair when it's being subjected to heat in the styling process.

The line tempts me mainly because of it's constituents of all naturals and no petrolatum, mineral oil, sulfates, phthalates, colorants or parabens. It's all bottled up nutritious goodness wrapped up in an agreeable aroma. 

The products come with a booklet of helpful guidelines on haircare and styling. You get a captivating amount of products for an affordable price. My curls have never looked better. I would give the line a jolly good thumbs up.

Would I continue using it? Oh yes!
Would I recommend it to anyone looking for brilliant haircare? Absolutely.

Try it out. Your hair will thank you later.

Drop in your experiences with the line in the comment box below.

Love, Akido.


Recently I have had to constantly explain to people that me being focused on my education and the career I want has nothing to do with me being single. And I do not understand why in 2018 I have to explain this which led to this rant.
Relationships are hard enough as it is so can we please refrain from anything that complicates it even further, Thank you very much. That I am independent doesn't mean I don't expect to be swept off my feet by a man. Yes,I am fully capable of taking care of myself and yes, I expect my man to take care of me the same way I will take care of him ,but let me help you understand something, just because i expect my man to care of me, does not take away amything from my independence. Being able to take care of yourself as a woman doesn't mean you don't need a man it just means you are self-sufficient human being and there's nothing wrong with that. We have to stop putting these restrictions on ourselves and giving ourselves these either-or options. In an age where we are telling women to be whoever they want to be and that the world is their oyster. It's only fair that we tell them that being a "goal getter" doesn't mean they don't deserve to be treated like the Queens that they are. Everyone wants to love and be loved back. And being an independent woman doesn't mean you should want that any less or that you don't deserve it.
The mere fact that we are tying a woman's Independence to a man irks me. How about I strive to be self-sufficient because my parents have taken care of me my whole life and now that I'm an adult, I want to do that for myself. How about I want to know the feeling of spending on myself with money I worked my butt off for. How about the sense of accomplishment I want to feel after achieving a goal. Or the many other reasons why women are working hard and striving to make themselves better. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to fold your arms sitting around waiting for someone to hand something to you. And getting those things for yourself does not mean you do not like to be spoilt once in a while. We all like to feel good so why should the independent woman be made to feel guilty for feeling so. After all, being a strong, badass, goal getting woman is about breaking the norms. So go ahead, break those rules! Get your money and get you a loving, caring relationship with a man who believes in romance and treating his woman like a princess. Don't let anyone ever tell you it's not possible or that you don't deserve it.
I honestly don't think we should be ashamed of wanting and needing a man. We are humans and we want to share our lives with others. And the fact that you've mastered the art of being able to get things done by yourself and being comfortable alone (which is very important) does not mean you do not want a partner in love.
And while we are it, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be alone either. If you truly feel like you do not want to be in a relationship, that's your choice and again you shouldn't feel ashamed for it. We have to stop taking this independence thing to the extreme and forcing people to choose what they want to be (alone or hitched) or what type of person they should be with and at what time they should be with such person. We can have it all. And I feel like, well, that should be the point of this whole age of the Independent Woman.
                                                                                                Love, Neera.

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