Have you ever had someone in your life that did literally nothing for you except cause you to have a headache after each encounter? It can be friends, co-workers, heck even family! I have, and it is ok if you have too, but how do you deal with that person or those people (cause let’s be honest, some of us have more than one)? For me the toxic person came in the form of my mother, of all people! When you’re a child, you mother treats you as such, and when you become an adult that relationship shifts a bit and your mother is supposed to become your best friend.
My mother was and has been combative all of my life, never acknowledging her behavior, but she made sure never to display the behavior in public. Some of my family (the ones I chose to share this with) had no idea I was being abused. My mother would tell me I had nobody to call because they were not my family. She was mentally, verbally, and physically abusive. Don’t get me wrong I love my mother, however, she is not a person I can have in my space, so I love her from a distance. My relationship with her was combative, she never acknowledged her behavior, and now that I am an adult, married with two kids, she has become competitive. But enough about me….
Despite our best efforts, some relationships become unsalvageable or we just don’t want to fix it any more. Unless it is an abusive relationship (you should end those without hesitation), you should have a conversation for closure. It doesn’t have to be long and dramatic. Just something to let them know you acknowledge the relationship is unhealthy and you should part ways. Answer questions they have, BUT make sure they don’t rope you back into the relationship because that can happen (trust me). If they start to get defensive or argumentative, it’s clear they are not hearing you, so at that point it is best to just break away from the conversation, and end it there.
You may not have someone as close to you as I did, but did someone come to mind as you read this??
They can be someone you dread seeing, whose doesn’t respect your opinions or makes you feel bad about yourself in anyway. Now that you have that person locked in your head….answer this question:
DO THEY BRING VALUE TO MY LIFE?
If the answer is no, you have two options:
1. Go down the rabbit hole and continue in that relationship until you have had enough or
2. Decide today that you have to love that person from a distance.
If your unsure, answer these questions:
1. Is there abuse? (If there is seek help immediately)
2. Is it affecting other areas of your life
3. Are you interactions mostly negative
4. Do they make you sick (I.e headaches after every encounter)
5. The relationship is one-sided
6. It’s affecting your immediate family
7. There is substance abuse
Always Shameika ❣
IG: Meika_Tyree
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